Coffee Date With Christina: Letting Go of Friendships After Loss

“Is there any way to make the friends that feel left behind after grief understand? For me, almost all of my relationships have fallen away because as you said in your book Second Firsts, what used to connect me to most of the people in my life is simply no longer there. I tried with a couple of really treasured relationships to explain over and over again that it wasn’t personal. That I was a different person. That the old me was gone, but people kept trying to get me back to being “myself,” which meant my old self. I tried to find new connections between us but all that’s there is a ghost of an old connection. After some time they would try to get back to what used to connect us be it work, or faith or so on and it just doesn’t work. And I want to scream, I’m sorry but I just don’t care about this! I’ve said this in every kind way I can and I’d like to see where we can connect now, but they are not interested in that. I feel resentment, fear and anger coming from them because they sense the change. They feel left behind. They just don’t understand.” - Ann

Listen to my answer to Ann here:

In This Episode I Talk About:

  • That so many people feel the same way, you are not alone!

  • The more I tried to make them work, the more I felt the anger, resentment and frustration

  • Why you have to not force this and let go of those relationships

  • My personal experience of letting relationships go

  • That you may need to change your life in a practical way - do you need to move? Do you need to try new things and to meet new people that match better who you are now?

  • A reminder that you are exactly where you need to be 

  • You are becoming someone completely different and that’s why this hurts so much

Things I Mention In This Episode:

 
 

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Christina Rasmussen